Life in the Slow Lane

February 2, 2010

Wacky Super Bowl prop bets

Filed under: Entertainment,Sports,Television — pauljlane @ 10:40 am

Here, from R.J. Bell of, are some of the strangest Super Bowl prop bets for Super Bowl XLIV between Indianapolis and New Orleans.

Extreme scoring:
7 points or less, combined both teams: 1000 to 1
81 or more points, combined both teams: 5 to 1 against
Colts shutout: 250 to 1 against
Saints shutout: 80 to 1 against
Saints win by 39 or more points: 60 to 1 against
Colts win by 39 or more points: 20 to 1 against

Manning -150 (60% chance!)
Brees +300
Addai +1000
Wayne +1100
Reggie Bush +1200
P. Thomas +1300
Dwight Freeney: +6000

Player to score first TD:
Addai: 5 to 1
Reggie Wayne: 6 to 1
Dallas Clark: 7 to 1
Pierre Thomas: 7 to 1
Marquest Colston: 9 to 1
Reggie Bush: 10 to 1
Payton Manning: 35 to 1

Total Pass Yards: Over/Under = 305
Total TD passes: Over/Under = 2.5
Will Manning throw for more yards this Super Bowl than his last?
Yes = minus 270 (equaling a 75% chance)
Will Brees throw for less than 100 yards?
12 to 1 against
Will Manning throw for more than 500 yards?
15 to 1 against

Total Passing Yards: Over/Under = 290
Total TD passes: Over/Under = 2
Will Drew Brees throw for more yards than John Elway did in Super Bowl XXI (304 yards)? Yes or No is even money.
Will Brees throw for less than 100 yards?
10 to 1 against
Will Brees throw for more than 500 yards?
25 to 1 against
Passing Yards: Manning is favored by 15 yards over Brees

Reggie Bush: Rushing Yards: Over/Under = 30

Reggie Wayne: Total receiving yards: Over/Under = 78

Combined net yards (both teams): Over/Under = 801 yards
Colts are favored to have 16 more net yards than the Colts
Longest touchdown of the game: over/under = 50 yards
Will the longest touchdown be longer than the longest field goal?
Touchdown = minus 150 (meaning 60% chance TD is longer)

Will there be?
overtime: 15 to 1 against
a safety: 10 to 1 against
a blocked punt: 10 to 1 against
missed extra point: 15 to 1 against
defensive or special teams touchdown: No = -160 (meaning 38% chance)

Will at least one quarter of the game be scoreless?
No = -400 (meaning only 20% chance one quarter will be scoreless)

Will there be a lead change in the Second Half?
No = -165 (meaning 38% chance there WILL be a 2nd half lead change)

Largest lead of game?
Over/Under = 16.5

Who will score more points:
Saints and Colts combined
Lebron and Kobe combined (on Sunday)

Crazy Props:
Who will win the coin toss?
Most books have the odds as even, but one has HEADS as a slight favorite!
How long will it take Carrie Underwood to sing the National Anthem?
Over/Under is 1 minute and 42 seconds.
What color will the Gatorade dumped on the winning head coach be?
Yellow: even money
Clear or water: +150
Green: +250
Orange: +500
Red: +1500
Blue: +1200

TV Props
How many times will Archie Manning be shown on TV: over/under = 4.5
How many times will Kim Kardasian be shown on TV: over/under = 2.5
How many times will Hurricane Katrina be mentioned: over/under = 3

Super Crazy
How many current NFL players will be arrested during Super Bowl week?
No = minus 170 (meaning the odds of at least one is 37%)
Will a player give the crowd the “middle finger”?
Yes = 8 to 1 against
If Saints win, will Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian be engaged by July 31, 2010?
No = -150 (meaning the chance is 40%)
Will The Who smash a guitar on stage during the halftime show? No = -180 (meaning the chance is 35%)
How many times will Pete Townshend do his famous windmill move? Over/Under = 6
First endzone Celebration will be:
Ball spike: 2 to 1
Flex bicep: 4 to 1
Slam Dunk football: 5 to 1
Punch Goalpost: 15 to 1
Take out Sharpie and sign ball: 20 to 1
Group celebration: 20 to 1
Heisman Trophy pose: 25 to 1
“Ickey” Shuffle: 100 to 1


November 25, 2009

Oprah, Jon & Kate bid farewell

Filed under: Entertainment,Television — pauljlane @ 1:05 pm

The past week has seen two of the bigger names on television either leave or announce their intentions to leave.

Will Jon and Kate ever disappear for good?

• First off, Jon & Kate (and their eight) departed TLC on Monday, as their reality series concluded.

I had never seen the show prior to Monday, and I have to say that I don’t know what the attraction was. Jon complained about having eight kids, Kate complained about having eight kids, they both complained about the paparazzi which they helped bring into their lives, the end.

Granted, the show has wildly changed course since it debuted, what with the couple’s marital woes and string of publicity. But in the episode, Kate didn’t even have one of the hissy fits she’s famous for, and it was still lacking for anything that made for compelling viewing. I honestly could not care less about what happens to either of these attention whores. Life’s hard with eight kids, no doubt, but stop making a spectacle about it.

So, good riddance. My only regret is that they’ll undoubtedly milk every TV show, interview and other cash-in opportunity that’s available while they still have some of their 15 minutes left.

• And Oprah Winfrey announced last week that she’ll hang up her microphone in 2011, giving up her talk show to pursue other interests in cable television.

At least Oprah IWnfrey tried to improve the world with her TV time.

I hate the hardcore Oprah fans who blindly follow her every word and turn off their minds in her midst. But Oprah has had a greatly positive influence in her quarter-century of doing talk shows. She’s made a difference in a lot of ways, and her show was one of the few good things about daytime television. She will be missed there.

Not that the richest woman on the planet can disappear, mind you. She’ll be visible in her other work and will continue making the world a better place. But she was the person who made modern talk shows what they are and carried great clout in nearly every circle (I requested to review a sample of a glasses-type device that projects movies to review for the paper, and they told me that Oprah got the only sample that would be issued).

If any good comes of this, it’s that Oprah’s most fervent fans might start thinking for themselves again. But regardless, Ellen DeGeneres, Rachael Ray or anyone else who might step into her spot won’t be quite the same.

November 16, 2009

Heidi and Spencer are among the worst people ever

Filed under: Entertainment,Television — pauljlane @ 5:40 pm

Heidi and Spencer Pratt said recently taht they want another reality show, claiming that viewers don’t get to see enough of them.

(Choking back vomit)

Heidi and Spencer, two of the main reasons people from other nations hate America.

OK, first of all, how pretentious do you have to be to think that people WANT to see more of you? Just about the only people who actually care about reality stars are unemployed losers and empty shells of beings with way too much time on their hands (note that I mean people who follow reality stars’ lives off-camera, not watch reality shows; there’s a clear distinction).

And, as the following AP story states, if the description preceding your name in a story is “reality TV personality,” you’ve accomplished nothing with your life and are a complete waste of resources and time. Where are you in life that, rather than trying to do something meaningful that might help your family or society, you push for more TV time? Do you have absolutely no skills whatsoever? Or are you just a complete moron?

Of course, if they see this post, they’ll be happy to see their names circulating around the Web some more (no doubt they have a Google alert of themselves set up), which is the entire point of every move they make (“Look at us! We do stuff!”). And they might never know how very, very sad that is.


This is from The Associated Press:

Reality TV personalities Heidi and Spencer Pratt said Monday they want to branch out from MTV’s “The Hills” and star in their own reality show to give viewers a bigger peek into their lives.
In an interview to promote their new book, “How to be Famous: Our Guide to Looking the Part, Playing the Press, and Becoming a Tabloid Fixture,” the couple told The Associated Press they’re shopping the idea around to various networks.
They said that while “The Hills” — which doesn’t acknowledge its cast members’ fame — only focuses on a small part of their lives, their own show would reveal everything that happens to them. They also said they’d be even be willing to include live segments.
“You don’t get to see our everyday lives and what we do,” Heidi Pratt said.
But the Pratts also said they don’t plan to leave “The Hills” and hope to appear in both shows.
Last summer, the newlyweds also appeared on NBC’s “I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here!” during a break from “The Hills.”

‘Shrek the Halls’ and ‘Grinch’ Christmas shows to air back-to-back

Filed under: Entertainment,Television — pauljlane @ 5:13 pm

ABC announced that its annual airings of “Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas” and “Shrek the Halls” will take place back-to-back Monday, Nov. 30.

"Shrek the Halls."

The 1966 classic “Grinch” (8 p.m. EST), based on the Dr. Seuss book, tells of an evil creature whose experiences while thieving Christmas from his neighbors in Whoville opens up his heart to the meaning of the holidays. And “Shrek” (8:30 p.m. EST) will air for the third time in 2009 and sees new dad Shrek struggle to meet his family obligations while keeping his friends happy as he tries to find out the “right way” to celebrate Christmas. All of the voice actors from the film series return, including Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy and Antonio Banderas.

While I would take “A Charlie Brown Christmas” if only given one Christmas show to watch per year, this is as fantastic a back-to-back pairing as could be. Both of these shows are splendid in every way.

November 9, 2009

2009 Charlie Brown Christmas special to air Dec. 1

Filed under: Entertainment,Life,Television — pauljlane @ 5:00 pm

ABC announced that the 2009 airing of “A Charlie Brown Christmas” will take 67505_003place at 8 p.m. Dec. 1.

The holiday classic, perhaps the best special that airs during the Christmas season, sees Charlie Brown debate the true meaning of the holiday while dealing with a Christmas play, a possession-obsessed sister and a lackluster lil’ Christmas tree.

Click here for details on the 2009 airing of “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.”

2009 Charlie Brown special to air Thanksgiving night

Filed under: Entertainment,Life,Television — pauljlane @ 4:55 pm

ABC announced that the 2009 showing of “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” will67501_005_ful take place at 8 p.m. Thanksgiving night (Nov. 26).

The annual special sees Charlie Brown try to arrange a special dinner for his crew, only to have the caterers — Snoopy and Woodstock — screw things up with a toast and popcorn entree.

Airing with “Thanksgiving” will be “This is America, Charlie Brown: The Mayflower Voyagers,” a cartoon that takes the Peanuts gang back to 1620 and the 65-day voyage across the Atlantic Ocean to North America.

Click here for details on the 2009 airing of “A Charlie Brown Christmas.”

November 5, 2009

Anniversary issue offers gender-based food for thought

Filed under: Entertainment,Life,Television — pauljlane @ 3:41 pm

While watching an episode of “White Collar” last night (the USA show is excellent, by the way), I was taken aback by the subplot involving the FBI agent’s inability to come up with a sufficient anniversary gift for his wife.

yes_dear copy

The doofus husband who often forgets dates is a staple of sitcoms such as "Yes, Dear."

He eventually did, of course, but she didn’t get him a single darn thing.

And that got me thinking.

In any TV program or movie you see, it’s the man who’s the gift-giver on anniversary day. You have the ridiculous stereotype about the “Forgetful Father” who bumbles his way through life while not remembering the anniversary date and other special occasions. You have fictional men going all-out to please their wives with vacations, jewelry, dinners and the like. And even the diamond commercials lay heavy into this sentiment (“this anniversary, give her something that shows you actually care”).

So, what gives? Why is anniversary giving (in fictional worlds, at least) all on the man?

Wasn’t the woman at the wedding, after all? And don’t they say that weddings are all about what the woman wants? So why does she get to just sit back and be lavished upon year after year.

No, for the record, this sentiment isn’t reflective of any real-life misgivings on my part. My wife and I decide each year not to give gifts to each other, instead just enjoying dinner and/or a movie together.

But TV and movies can persuade some viewers, so these stereotypes – while not as harmful as those beer commercials with the nearly naked women – can do harm to relationships. If you’re saturated with any message to a certain extent, it will rub off on you in some form.

I’ve never been married to anyone else (nor will I be), so I don’t know what the “normal” anniversary gift-giving arrangement is. But I hope it’s nothing like what TV would have me believe.

October 20, 2009

‘Home Run Derby’ is a fun, nostalgic viewing

Filed under: Entertainment,Sports,Television — pauljlane @ 1:54 pm

Imagine my sheer delight one recent evening when I came across “Home Run Derby” on ESPN Classic.

Hank Aaron on an episode of "Home Run Derby."

Hank Aaron on an episode of "Home Run Derby."

The vintage TV show pitted the game’s greatest hitters of the 1950s and 1960s against each other for bragging rights and four-figure cash prizes (which were valuable back in a day when players often worked off-season jobs).

I got to see Hank Aaron and Mickey Mantle square off. The campy feel of the show was as great as was the amazement of seeing the game’s two best hitters of that era be willing to do it. It was fantastic to watch two historical great, neither of whom I ever got to see live, hit BP in an empty minor league stadium in pursuit of $5,000. Each player even did commentary when he wasn’t at bat. They weren’t flashy or boastful, but rather they were apparently genuinely interested in winning in a sporting fashion.

The series is available on DVD and airs sporadically on cable from time to time. But be sure to give it a watch if you ever encounter it. Baseball is still a good game now, but the show will allow you to glimpse a time when it was truly great.

This is why we should abolish reality television

Filed under: Entertainment,Life,Television — pauljlane @ 12:41 pm

If Balloon Boy isn’t enough, here’s this idiot, as reported by The Associated Press. Granted, he showed a bit of initiative, and the stock market isn’t what it once was for newbie investors, but still, come on.


The winner of reality TV show “Big Brother” has confessed to using his $500,000 prize to buy thousands of oxycodone pills and resell them, authorities said.
Adam Jasinski, 31, of Delray Beach, Fla., has been charged with attempting to sell 2,000 pills in Massachusetts to a government witness.
Federal prosecutors said Jasinski was arrested Saturday after he flew to Boston and showed the witness a sock containing two plastic bags filled with oxycodone, a powerful painkiller that is a popular street drug because of its euphoric effects.
As agents tried to arrest Jasinski at a strip mall in North Reading, he struggled and threw the sock under a car parked nearby, Todd Prough, a special agent with the Drug Enforcement Administration, said in an affidavit filed in court.
Jasinski won $500,000 last year on the CBS reality show in which contestants live under constant surveillance and vote once a week to evict each other in hopes of becoming the last houseguest standing and winning the grand prize.
Prough said in the affidavit that Jasinski told him that he has been using his winnings to buy thousands of oxycodone pills and has been reselling them along the East Coast for the past several months.
Jasinski’s lawyer, Valerie Carter, did not immediately return a call Tuesday.
He faces a maximum of 20 years in prison and a $1 million fine on a charge of possession of oxycodone pills with intent to distribute.

October 7, 2009

2009 Charlie Brown ‘Great Pumpkin’ Halloween airdate announced

Filed under: Entertainment,Television — pauljlane @ 3:52 pm

ABC announced today that this year’s airing of “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”great-pumpkin-charlie-brown
will take place at 8 p.m. Wednesday, Oct. 28. The date was originally announced as Tuesday, oct. 27, but ABC shifted it back a day.

My daughter has quickly grown to recognize and love Snoopy, and this is the first holiday special I’ll be watching with my infant son, so color me excited.

There’s no word yet on the Thanksgiving or Christmas airing for Peanuts or any other series.

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