Life in the Slow Lane

April 6, 2009

‘Fast & Furious’ infuriates this film fan

Filed under: Movies — pauljlane @ 2:19 pm

How can it be that the American movie-going public would combine to spend $72.5 million during its opening weekend?

Don't ask me why, but people seem to enjoy watching Vin Diesel and Paul Walker perform their sub-par acting while driving shiny cars and spouting dialogue that a fourth-grader could have improved.

Don't ask me why, but people seem to enjoy watching Vin Diesel and Paul Walker perform their sub-par acting while driving shiny cars and spouting dialogue that a fourth-grader could have improved.

Have people lost their minds? Are shiny cars THAT impressive? Are we so simple that it’s worth sitting through 90 minutes of drivel (not to mention the $20 admission price, plus concessions) to watch attractive people do nothing?

Never mind that a mere 24 percent of the nation’s film critics approved this film (most gave it one star out of four or less). Who actually woke up Friday and thought, “Gee, I can see the fourth chapter of a film franchise that was played out in part two. Sign me up!” This retread film was as necessary as a baseball glove for a quadroplegic.

The first “Fast” film was OK, but “2 Fast 2 Furious” was a disaster, repeating the same junk in a different place. The third part, “Tokyo Drift” was even worse, so they opted to get all the same stars as the original, put them in the same place and have them do EXACTLY THE SAME THING.

If you want to watch them that badly, rent the first film (it’s a lot cheaper). Thanks to you people who went to the film, there’s no avoiding a fifth chapter, then a sixth, and … well, you know what you did.

On behalf of movie fans who do not like feces on film, thanks for nothing.

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1 Comment »

  1. The movie was definitely worth the watch. Even though the plots do seem to trible a bit, this movie was made for the fans and anyone that has every enjoyed the lifestyle of car racing. The movie wasnt made for the dialogue or the drama so critics need to stop bashing on the plot and structure. Obviously any critic that feels the movie was a wreck has never stepped foot in a worthwhile car or been around a scene with beautiful women. The movie stayed true to the characters and lifestyle,and I believe, delivered everything it should have. Cant wait for the next installment.

    Comment by Drake — April 7, 2009 @ 3:35 am | Reply


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